Be raised in the South by divorced parents
one struggling, one not… financially that is.
Be the older child of two
and the only girl.
Be a child who carried guilt around
like it would some day earn her a prize;
Certain she was the cause of her parents divorce.
Should’ve been better.
Should’ve been smarter.
Should’ve been prettier.
Should’ve cleaned her room,
gotten better grades, and
not fought with her brother as much.
Be the nerdy high schooler who lived for math class
but secretly wanted to be a cheerleader.
Be the drama geek who loved to dance and act
because it could always take her away.
Be the overachiever, the teacher’s pet,
the good girl through and through.
Gotten better.
Gotten smarter.
(Was still working on the pretty.)
Didn’t clean her room, but
grades shot up, and you guessed it,
still fought with her brother.
Be the drama major, with minors in math and psych;
no one had seen this animal before.
Be the cheerleading captain (yes, she finally made it)
who discovered a taste for Seagram’s and Seven.
Be the girlfriend, the fun one,
the (fairly) good girl through and through.
Could’ve been better.
Should’ve been smarter.
What was “pretty” anyway?
Should’ve found herself,
made different choices, and
visited her grandparents more often.
Be the young wife who moved
3000 miles from home to sunny California.
Be the School Psychologist who
tested kids and dressed “professionally”.
Be the person who discovered new friends,
true friends, her tribe.
Could not have been better.
Acted much smarter.
Finally felt pretty.
Enjoyed sand and sea,
soaked up the sun, and
laughed and played and cried.
Be the young mother of one, then two
who moved from California east to Jersey.
Be the stay-at-home mom, but only briefly
while your husband traveled for work.
Be the fun mom, the good neighbor,
the one with all the energy.
Apparently got better.
Felt much smarter.
Was her own kind of pretty.
Enjoyed squeals of laughter,
playing in the pool, and
being a Mommy.
Be the older mother of three
who has watched two of them move away.
Be the grandmother of two
who fill your heart with joy.
Be the wife of 35 years
who’s settled and comfortable, yet antsy.
Better is relative.
Smarter is relative.
Pretty is relative.
Should’ve taken more pictures,
hugged longer, loved harder, and
not worried so much about the small stuff.
Be uncertain, yet certain.
Be happy, yet sad.
Be searching, yet found.
Be kind.
Be fair.
Be loved and loving.
Be alive…
April 10th
Prompt: Write a How Blank Poem
Tori Dreamer 